~ tidbits of a boring life ~

ビール・・・

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:11:48 GMT

What a week it has been. Long, messy, tiring but at least it got better towards the end except that now my tummy still feels funny from the Sapporo Classic Beer i downed quickly last night. It tasted so good that I finished the whole can in less than 10 mouthfuls.

I thought after seeing many irritating classmates from a couple of years back, i would be immuned to morons who talk like they know all their shit etc but argh no. Everytime i go for class, i feel like throwing two bricks at one particular guy, one at the nose-bridge AND the other at his shin. oh well.

We finally placed the order for a table from MUJI yesterday! I still find most of the staff working in MUJI largely clueless idiots, polite yes, but still idiots. Sigh. Like I always tell Polar-b recently... if i ever work in the local MUJI management, i will FIRE all the damn staff i'm sorry. But that aside, YAYE! The table!!! :D:D:D:D It's coming on the 2nd week of November, so hopefully there'd be no probs with the delivery and *cough* assembly. On top of that i'm excited to spend the points that we've accumulated! Mufufu.

以上・・・

・・・・

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:48:26 GMT

疲れたって言えないほど、疲れた。やっぱ言った・・・まだ少しだけ力が残ってるのかな？　あたしいったい何かを求めてる？何か欲しいの？正直、多分求めてない、欲しくもない。

状況を理解してたのに眼を開けて飛び込んじゃって、正しかったのか？大丈夫のかな？信じたい・・・本当に信じたい。信じていいのかな？今年って何回の疲れたって言ったのかい、イボン？仕事のせいで、家族のせいで、彼のせいで、自分の問題もあるでしょう・・・

落ち着いて考えましょう。でも焦ってないね、実は。

どうしよう・・・

ひとまず、罪悪感を消しましょう。

疲れた

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:29:19 GMT

Next time? I will just shut up.

精神の改革

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 14:31:19 GMT

As I try to keep my eyes open to catch the qualifying round of the F1 race, i've been thinking how tiring and lousy things have been in general recently.

Work woes is nothing new in my life but it's only recently i find things just so tiring to deal with and came 5cm close to scream my head off at someone around me at one point. But i'm quite glad that happened, the part about coming close to the "breakdown" that is, because it made me kind of let things go and finally start to take on the belief of "work is just work".
I guess at the end of the day, the whole problem had fed on the evilness of putting too much of how i feel into work. I dunno about the others, but i couldn't really make myself go "heck it, it's none of my business". I hear this a LOT from people at work around me and honestly a little blob of disgust would arise in me before i push it down with a "everyone's just different". I think it sucks many people think that way, but that's how one would have to be to survive the working world i guess. A lot of these "selfish skills" i would like to term it, come naturally to most people but i guess i just need to hone these right from scratch. I'm no saint btw, i'm not saying that. I'm just saying i really don't have that kind of inborn skill to be this selfish sometimes.
I just hope i don't find myself one selfish bastard 5 years down the road. :( But that's what working and growing up do to you... does it not?
So that's work improvement.... i guess. My whole stand towards how I deal with work... is to be changed, will be changed. Not that slick in this new skill yet, but i shall have to be.

I ranted big time recently about weekend parents on Facebook and got back quite some comments, mostly were agreements, some mini objections because of the very 'sweeping' statement i made (them being weekend parents etc).
I know I wouldn't have much of a choice in future, but i think i will fall into this very category of weekend parents because life isn't that sweet and easy.
I suppose what really bugs me is how comfortably some weekend parents fall into this category. It is not supposed to be! You are supposed to be feeling somewhat sad that you're not able to spend more time with your growing child. You're supposed to make use of every other remaining time, as much as possible, to watch them grow up, to let them irritated you, to fuss over them, to scold them, teach them, laugh with them. I don't see why do you want to have kids in the first place when you are more concerned about catching up with your romance novels, or washing and polishing your car, in the big name of stress-relief when others are teaching and educating your kids for you. It's not right... and i hate that. I really do.

I wish for myself to never become like that. I would like to fret and get frustrated over my children's disobedience, mischieviousness. I would love to find some helplessness on how all the anger and irritance would momentarily disappear the moment they try to flash me their little cute devil grins and puppy eyes. I would love to be the idiotic parent who sometimes can't help but give in to little pleas of "please mummy please!!!!". I would like to smack daddy in the head when he gives in to little pleas of "dadddyyyy... please lar!!!". I!!! ME!!! I want to experience this. I don't want some maid or my/his mom to experience this alone themselves.

Given how we're trying to pump in more money into our bank accounts as fast as it disappears quickly because we just cannot be bothered to be frugal the old-generation-style anymore, this is probably too much to hope for. But i just wish... i really do from the bottom of my heart, that i will -never-, -ever-, fall comfortably into the weekend parent category.
Weekend parents in my words, are parents who take their kids home from friday night, spend the weekend with them, and drop them off at the grandparent's place again on sunday night.

Life can't be always all bad. Yesterday Polar-b and I celebrated our first one year together. We went on a date, something which doesn't happen as often for us like other couples because I am busy with work on weekdays, and he on weekends. Most of the time we hang out at the igloo, cooking and enjoying each other's company.
So we had planned to watch Bears at the Omnimax Theatres, only to be amusingly dissuaded by the staff because there were only a couple of seats left after some 100-over kids (kindergarten level) were brought by their school to enjoy the same show for Children's day (Oct 1). We decided that as much as we don't dislike kids, trying to enjoy romance with 100 over kids is kind of an overkill so we said we would be back after Children's day.
We knew that we made the right choice when, as we were walking back to the car, we saw a cute little boy go berserk screaming "OHHH LOOOK!!!! DINOSAUR!!!!" as he jumped off the schoolbus, to be greeted by Mr T-Rex at the entrance.
We went to catch Inglourious Basterds instead and it was totally enjoyable! It was witty, funny and interesting... although i did STILL roll my eyes at the exaggerated bloodsplatter Tarantino-style. Hahaha.
We went to Ootoya for lunch, not without getting lost in Orchard Central itself first, and having to ask how do we get back to the lift that serves the carpark. Ooooootoya, how i love you so. ♥♥
We decided to walk abit at Ion, because i wanted to go to take a look at the new upmarket supermarket Three-Sixty and it was pretty interesting! I wished it was less crowded though.
We were supposed to go to Margarita's for dinner but we postponed this to another day because Polar-b was feeling uncomfy after lunch. Instead we tried out the new tze-char stall at the nearby kopitiam, eating crabs to go with wine but the crabs didn't impress, neither did the wine for Polar-b. I found the wine alright so i took a couple more glasses and realised how lousy I have become in drinking. Or it could just be what Polar-b said... we just react differently to different drinks. I conked out soon after, forgetting momentarily about work woes, my unhappiness with many things around me.
Polar-b, it has been a challenging but great one year, we will have many more. You're the best. :)

負担・・・

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 14:08:42 GMT

I am like 3 weeks late in updating this. I was full of excitement and post-holiday happiness after my 12 day long vacation and wanted to post pics and talk all about lovely hokkaido, lovely tokyo, polar-b's first trip to JP, J shows, and how i grabbed hold of the tank top that J threw offstage, went through one song with another girl holding on to it till i figured enjoying the show's a better thing to do and let go. Shoot me, but i honestly didn't think too much abt it. Hehehe.

Anyway, I can't stop thinking about how great the whole trip is, though i get more and more laden with unhappiness/frustrations from work as each day creeps by. Sucks.

At least I have polar-b to lean on, at least i have little things to look forward to. I just want some mental peace, be it from work, things around me or home.

I WISH I GET TO GO HOKKAIDO IN JAN/FEB next year again!!!!!

やっと・・・

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 15:21:28 GMT

Work has been crazily stressful to a point that I was not working efficient no more. i sometimes wish it's not this difficult to take 2 weeks off from work, but reality isn't this sweet. Nonetheless, i'm going to ignore work, almost, for a good 11 days from Monday!

JAPAN! It has been 9 months! I'm sure even my passport missed being smacked with those entry stickers of yours! :D

I'm thinking of getting something from Agnes B this time but i shall see where my money goes to first before i get to the store.
And J! Hope you don't CANCEL your birthday this year. Thanks. *rolls eyes*

時間の余裕・・・欲しいの。欲しい。

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 12:22:58 GMT

Essentially i just really want to be left alone to
(1) clear my backlog
(2) meet my deadlines
(3) be free of all pek-chekness from work
(4) solve problems
(5) answer all my emails

Just let me have the luxury to do the above, and anyone can just throw more work over. Feel Free. BUT JUST GIMME WHAT I WANT! Argh.

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 02:28:51 GMT

Not quite in a nutshell:

(1) My friend-cum-J-live-buddy Kyo, is attached! I knew this only last night as I had been just too crazily battling work over the past few days to check my other gmail account. But YES! I'm so happy for her. :)
Just last August we both sat on the stairs outside Akasaka Blitz before the (later to be cancelled) J birthday live queueing for goods, and started talking about our respective 'love lives'. Mine hadn't quite started then but yeah I was just telling her about stuff and she was telling me how she hasn't heard from her then-bf for weeks and weeks.
Then when i got attached shortly after i got back, she took the chance to tell me as well that she had broken up with the then-bf. T__T
So anyway, seems that it's all good now and i'm so glad that she's happy with someone else.

(2) This is work related but i'll leave out the dung related stuff. I'm moved to a different performance evaluation program which means possibly more money, and this is the only upside. The downside, which makes me rather go without the extra money is more interaction with my dung supervisor. But i shall try to take it in my stride (HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA) and ignore said supervisor.
The good news is that I have managed to involve my manager which makes things in general more smooth sailing more effective and efficient.
I almost feel sad for my manager for having to deal with such an incompetent leader in her team, who ironically manages the biggest number of people.

(3) Almost 3 years ago I asked Ms Chio to get me 2 bottles of Wolfblass white wine and we finished 1 bottle around that time. I kept the 2nd bottle all these years because I stopped inviting people whom i didn't like but knew how to drink to my place, and only got friends over and they didn't drink.
I asked Polar-b if wines go stale and as far as i know not all wines keep well. We finally opened the 2nd bottle yesterday anyway since Ms I came over and yaye not only it was still good, Polar-b liked it too. I think that's fabulous. :)

(4) I was terribly PMS this week and i'm so glad it's mostly over.

(5) I chatted with Nora some time this week and I am so tempted for a 再会 in Japan end of the year. I have yet to discuss this with Polar-b cos it totally slipped my mind to but yup.. will see how that works out anyway. :)

(6) Immigration came back saying that they couldn't add my Chinese name onto the IC and asked me to call back. I did. And they pissed me off. So i wrote a nice feedback to them. Some guy called me and sounded like i was going to bite his head off. I told him call another time because i am still working. "OHHH I'M SO SORRY I'M SO SORRY. SORRY." i DID feel bad that he seemed traumatised. The power of short and sweet feedback letters. :D

ザ・ベスト・五

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:09:06 GMT

Because I have been lazy, am feeling lazy and will be feeling lazy, I had a random idea of doing a 5-highlights of the week thingy to capture any (ironically) 5 things that I would like to remember of the week.

Here's a couple of rules.
(1) Best 5 is just rubbish rule. I shall put the best 5000 if i wish to. :D or just 1.
(2) Best 5 only becos it sounds better than "....". It doesn't necessarily need to be a "BEST", may it be a worst too.
(3) One serious rule though, is that it MUST NOT contain anything in relation to the piece of dung in the office.

So here's this week's.
(1) I finally went to take a damn IC photo at a photo studio on Monday for my IC re-registration, after sitting on it for months!
The notification didn't reach me before my birthday like how it did for most of my same-year friends, and when it finally did like a month late, i sat on it because moi the queen was busy. (for non-singaporeans, we have to change our ID Card photo when we turn 30.)
I called the relevant dept some time early April to make a complaint that 'they never sent what they were supposed to'. Hehehe. So it took them another tsk-tsk 3 weeks to send me what i wanted. By the time it arrived i got busy, and lazy again.
So anyway i FINALLY took the damn bloody IC photo so that i could send it out with the form.. which i did too. GOOD JOB!
And i put the date as 22nd May just to spite them because they stated that i MUST send it back within 4 weeks from the stated date in the form. GREAT JOB!

(2) I give up on the flu vaccine! No one can fault me for doing so because the system in getting it just sucks! I went to my GP some time back to check on my right itchy eye and asked abt the vaccine. They are out of it but about 50 vials would be coming in on the following tue. Work commitments and continuous unsuccessful phonecalls to enquire on them just made it impossible to go for the vaccine.
I went down personally today, to check if they had any stock at all. The beautiful answer was: no, and oh the next stock comes in only in Sept. If i'm going overseas i may want to TRY the polyclinic. She said TRY. I say.. forget it. They are probably out too.

THANK YOU! Dammit. I'm not faulting my GP on this...at all. Just how difficult it is to be RESPONSIBLE is my main gripe.

(3) I cooked dinner for Polar-b last week for the first time. Yaye. He liked it. Yaye. :) The simple joy of life.　♥

(4) First Kitchen finally has their yakiniku stuff back, this time round in a wrap! I was upset when they took the Yakiniku (Hot)dog off the menu years ago. Dang.

Just 4 this week!

天気予報：めちゃめちゃ超晴れです！

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 15:07:27 GMT

GAWD.
THE.
WEATHER.
GAWD.

I try to refrain from complaining abt the weather more often than not because as usual, i might strangle some person to death should they say "but you have an aircon at home". But ARGH! The weather's nuts!!!! We worked from home on friday and i still lost out in the battle to not switch on the aircon. Yesterday was a bit better with some rain in the afternoon (i think) but it made it worse because it was SCORCHING HOT before and after the rain.
Today!!! Today!!!! I'm so glad i wear shades now to drive after my lasik but i was short of just opening a parasol in the car to block out the sunrays.

This must be punishment for buying those 2 PLASTIC file holders from MUJI today.

I long for a proper dinner tomorrow. Having buns and stuff for dinner over the weekend was good but lacked the satisfaction from having hot(thermal) stuff for dinner. Awww my chinese roots.

Next week is 10am-7pm shift again. SUCKS.

よっしゃ！

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:39:11 GMT

Return ticket to Tokyo from Singapore: YES!

Return domestic ticket to Hokkaido: Cost 2 limbs but YES!

Car rental for 4days+1hr: Gotta collect it at the airport but YES!

Sapporo accommodation for 3 nights: YES!

Furano accommodation for 2 nights: Expensive but YES!

Otaru accommodation for 1 night: YES!

Asahikawa Zoo: YES!

Tokyo accommodation: Granbell YAYE! Tokyu Inn YAYE! YES!!!

Tickets to J for 11th and !!!!!12th!!!!!: YES!!YESS!!!YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

This trip is costing me a lot of my salary but:
YES!!!YES!!!YES!!!YES!!!YES!!!YES!!!YES!!!YES!!!

And I have 2 N95 masks ready. :) YES!

Becos there are just plainly naive people around, I requested to work from home after my trip for about 3 days. This is actually a self-restraining measure against people who might make dumb comments should i randomly sneeze. A self-restraining measure to kick their faces in that is.

I'm going for a flu vaccine jab as well, not really a caution against the H1N1 but because of the possibly killer weather in Tokyo and especially in SG. Gosh.

治療方法

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 01:42:12 GMT

I am beginning to believe in the power of retail therapy, and retail with a reason in mind therapy at that.

Retail therapy part ①:
Heck my worries previously, Polar-b and I have decided to pretty much heck care the H1N1 thing and just go ahead with our plans. Northwest Airlines granted our wishes further more and quicker by coming up with the $476 all inclusive fare to Tokyo... yes may i repeat for the nth time it's a direct flight for anyone who may be wondering.

The cheap international flight ticket there is ironically about the best deal of the trip because summer means 夏料金 (summer surcharge) so about everything else is DAMN EXPENSIVE! I am speaking particularly in regards to the domestic airticket to hokkaido (will cost more than our int'l flight there haha) and the lodging fees as well. Oh well. I guess we'd have to bear this cost if we ever want to experience Hokkaido in Summer!
We brainstormed the idea of going somewhere ELSE but i figured no after all since i really do want to see the flower stuff and just enjoy Hokkdaido with Polar-b.

Retail therapy part ②:
We got a bed for the flat! We settled for yet another Dorma because this fitted both the comfort+$$ criteria and we managed to source for a cheaper divan set as well. The bed deal included 2 pillows and a free mattress protector.. it isn't that fabulous in the sense that i thinke everyone gets the same deal but it's good enough i guess. I tried a lame attempt of "what abt a bolster too?? :D :D :D" but to no avail. hehe.

Next on the list is bedsheets which i might take a look at the selection today when i enjoy my own session of the GSS (Great Singapore Sale).

Last week was a dreary week at work as i was on the 10am-7pm shift. I have my utmost respect to people who have to work shifts because I totally couldn't get into the usual momentum of work and stuff at all. This needs some getting used to, or i should start having a later lunch.

Looks like it's going to be a warm weekend but that's alright i guess. I shall research and try to book some tickets/hotels this weekend! :D

小人物理論

Mon, 25 May 2009 13:07:57 GMT

So many little ups and downs recently that i just feel so demoralised most of the time.

Because these are all LITTLE ups and downs that it is just so hard to make a huge rant of it but nonetheless they are all irritating enough!

Work hasn't been too smooth because i am just plainly sick of getting irritated with people. Note that i didn't mention people irritating me, because somehow i feel that it's just me being more sensitive towards the uglier than before nature of people. I just stopped being optimistic about the existence of seemingly decent people around. I try to tell myself to stop being haughty and think that i have better behavioural patterns but i can't help but think it might somewhat be true sometimes.
There are just so many "little people" displaying "little people behaviour" and it just suffocates me! This requires some elaboration on the "little people" (小人物) existence but i shall do that another time.

Beyond work, just trying to not be a hermit and placing myself in where the population exists, makes me want to blow up every other second. Dumb behaviours, dumb parents, irritating kids, dumb people, dumb yuppies, dumb this, dumb that. AND DUMB DRIVERS ESPECIALLY DUMB TAXI DUMB DRIVERS!!!!!! DOUBLE DUMB!!!!

Maybe i should just STOP having any expectations and look down on people who deserve no respect. Sigh. How depressing.

Another depressing thing is the possible postponement of the August Japan trip with Polar-b! I've been looking forward to it for the longest time and there's now the possibility of pushing it back due to the H1N1 breaking out in Japan. SIGH!!!! I was just telling Polar-b some time back that i am so so in need of a break, and now this.

And I'm NOT feeling too good healthwise. It could be the accumulated stress from the above or just whatever, that my tummy is acting up again. The weather hasn't been too nice recently either. BLEH.

J＆結婚・・・なんか似合わないけど・・・

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:56:14 GMT

WOAH! This alone deserves an entry although i'm dead tired from the hectic but fun and loving day.

J got married.

WOAH!
.
.
.
WOAH

The old fart got married!!!! 爆笑

ご結婚おめでとうございます！

また人間関係・・・

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 15:14:59 GMT

Too much thoughts going through my head in the recent weeks, that i'm starting to feel the burden of it.

Am I just seeing the people around me with a clearer view, or am i just starting to be more judgemental and critical?
I see more nice people who do not have a good heart... am i just being one of them... or am i having a better understanding of humans?
I keep telling myself to be less bothered, to try to live life like most clueless people i see. Not easy i guess.

On Thursday night there was a sudden call (!!again!!) to gather everyone for dinner on friday night because my dad's close friend was in town. I like this friend of 30 years to my dad, simply because nice and valuable things are spoken from his mouth. He's a wealthy man, both in material and probably wisdom. I appreciate the idea of how he values long time friends of his like my dad, and how he specially made the trip down from Taiwan just to visit my dad when he heard from another acquaintance on how my dad seem to have lost a lot of weight in recent years etc.
Dinner was horrendously expensive, and honestly most of us were tired out from work and other troubles but i think it was still good that everyone still makes the effort to gather around for the family at such a short notice. :) I'm impressed and feel blessed about it i guess.

Other than endless problems at work which i have been feeling quite frustrated about, partly because of the pattern of how things are functioning generally and also i am starting to lose confidence in the performance of my problem-resolving skills recently. Perhaps reflecting the state of my mind recently, i seem to be stepping into the potholes of over-thinking recently. i really need to just keep the problem simple by looking at it plain and simple as much as i can and should. ( ..)φメモメモ

I have 2 days of leave left to clear in the next 2 months and i intend to take them for
(1) helping polar-b with the flat
(2) planning for the trip in august

Air tickets are SO cheap now at under 500 bucks to Tokyo by NWA!!! Too bad for the timing and honestly visiting japan in a rainy season of june would be such a pain and drag. The yen has been making their way down steadily but slowly to the 1.5 mark.. so i'm hoping that it'd hit the 1.45 mark sometime in august.
Can't wait to have good food and an enjoyable time in August!

醜い人間・・・かな。

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 10:32:36 GMT

Many around me at home and work seem to be plagued by the nasty flu bug (or its variant which causes fever, cough, sore throat and whole series of nasty things). I am here desperately trying to avoid the bug as i have 2 weeks of intensive training to give. BLERGH.
And here i am writing instead of making sure i have enough slides to entertain TWO people for 3 weeks. Such a totaly waste of effort and time. If you ask me.. training can be done within a week... WITHOUT additional preparation of notes. But i guess globally funded projects are just different in that sense after all. You get pesky people (whom i have my full sympathy for having this crappy responsibility) hounding you for updates and stuff every other day.

There's a change in the company's benefits taking effect very soon next week.. and we had a series of presentations and Q&A sessions with the insurance broker, insurance company and even HR.
What I have come to realise that many people LOVE to WHINE. *I* love to whine... on things that AFFECT me and i feel UNHAPPY about... things close to me, things that make me MISERABLE. But what i have seen so far is people whining about why do i have less hospitalisation benefits? Why is the company giving us less money? Why is the coverage 50 bucks less than before? Why do i have less sick leave days than before? Why am not covered for dental under the medical benefits.
COME ON PEOPLE. It's not THAT bad isn't it? We hear many complaints about how other company's better... other organisations pay more for this and that! etcetc. I have my misgivings.
(1) how sure are you that this isn't some benefits YEARS ago... and it hasn't been tweaked downwards following the global economy crunch?
(2) certain industries DO have fantastic benefits... that's usually because the workload kills most of the time anyway.

Perhaps i'm being a little *O-VER-LY* easily contented about benefits and what not. But my side of the argument is that what we are given isn't really that bad. Seriously whatever that's not sufficiently covered by the company will most likely be covered by your own insurance policy WHICH you SHOULD already have. If you don't have it don't whine. Don't bank on being employed for the rest of your life to have yourself covered for medical benefits when you can't even take a simple responsibility of covering yourself with your own money. If you're saying that premiums are expensive... then ~~fuck~~bugger off and shut up. ok... my case. :)
And honestly? If you hanker after such fantastic/fabulous benefits.... why are you not heading towards that said company and still staying around whining your ass off?

Strangely most people seem to have forgotten to look at the other side of picture on how we don't compare too badly with yet other companies.

Perhaps I'm just being plainly not-understanding. I guess there must be people who do hope that they are sick half of the year, having to be hospitalised a good part of their lives? I dunno. Maybe... who knows?

I certainly do hope i do not have to use a single hospitalisation benefit nor any sickness related benefit. But well... that could be just me. These are good to have, but never quite something to be greedy about i feel. If you're unhappy, i honestly dare you to have the guts to leave.

Last friday was vege day for Polar-b and i suggested going to NAIVE which i saw by chance when we passed by the previous weekend. I hadn't known tat NAIVE was a vegetarian place till i searched "hungry-go-where" on vege places. I found it pretty ok... nothing to shout about (it's in the papers today btw), but Polar-b didn't find it too fantastic (ie a notch lower than mine). But the greatest pet peeve we had abt the place was the fact that the place reeked of pet food smell. Blergh.
The good thing about having dinner there is that it's just a stone's throw from June's patisseries (sp?) shop Obolo... so we both dropped by to say hi. I'm glad to have another one of the bunch to introduce Polar-b to, as his schedule often hadn't managed to fit into any of our gatherings so far.

溜息

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 12:23:08 GMT

I guess i am unhappy about this after all.

Sigh, i just don't like to have to worry about a loved one's health. i just wish that discomfort and stubborness would be the first things out of the window when we are talking about the possibility of a bout of flu/cold/cough that may take 2-3 weeks to recover from.
It's not as if the weather has been good and obedient recently.

This is really somewhat frustrating... and painful to sit through. Sigh. So... xim tia. :(

What a Monday.

ゴー・トュー・ディー・エム・シっ！

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 13:10:41 GMT

There was so much bustling but too little to update recently, and suddenly last week exploded into this activity of emotional reunions, running about and stuffing my face a lot in the process.

Before this week i was busy with work as usual, both good and bad stuff. I got my pay increment, nothing to really shout about but given the fact that i should be counting my lucky stars that there hasn't been a pay-cut and even having the increment is something to be contented and happy about.

My weekends were half busy with helping polar-b with filling his place with more things and making Ikea the 2nd home.

This week we had earthly peace as the alien was not at work for the whole week. *hooray* I was feeling somewhat unwell from throat issues and later tummy issues from taking antibiotics for the throat. Bah! The irony. Despite that i made sure i crawl to work every morning to smell the un-aliened air and uncontaminated office environment that would last only a week long.

Thursday evening my mom called me at work to say we have visitors! Up till when i was about 9, i had a Filipino domestic helper who took care of mainly me and the family. When she had to leave for Canada when her maid visa couldn't be renewed anymore, it was not easy to let her go at all. Partly because i was a lazy pampered girl who depended a lot on her, mainly because other than my mom she's the closest person to me then.
She once came back in 1993, and it was another 15+ years before she came last week. She has aged a fair bit, but nothing much else had changed. She's still the caring person i know who still have that capacity of love for me.
She came with 3 other friends, and racing against time to savour all the yummy food and visit all their friends in the 2 full days they have here, their schedule was packed to the brim.
Saying goodbye is always the hardest and when i dropped her and her friends off at the hotel before they leave for the airport today, it was just so difficult keep a smiling face while saying i will see her again. T___T I promised her that i will see her in Canada some day, i really do hope this day will not be too far down the future.

In the midst of all the AHHHHH-busybusy schedule, i managed to catch DMC last night! It was just fabulous that i could enjoy this movie with no one else but polar-b because it wouldn't have been the same with anyone else around me now. We both thoroughly enjoyed the movie with all the silly yet meaningful jokes but i was a tad sad that the「グリとグラだよ！」(It's Guri and Gura!) joke was not caught by anyone else at all. Guri and Gura

Before the movie, we went for dinner at Dian Xiao Er and in front of us in the queue was a grandparent couple looking after their baby grandson. The baby was pretty cute, a blob of mua-chee as cheeks and smallish eyes but nonetheless cute. The couple irritated me a little as they were more engrossed in the menu than moving up the queue so they were instantly in my memory book of BLEH pple. Shortly after that couple got seated and us still waiting, a younger couple walked past... and that threw everything to sense. The guy was a good friend of the ex, someone who always had felt that i was not good enough for his pal, even throughout the times we were together. I actually never quite disliked this guy, but the unnecessary aloof attitude i got from him for long periods of time just made me wish i never had to set my eyes on him at all again. I guess bad memories just flooded in for a while which made me disgruntled that i had to pollute the time i was spending with polar-b. Oh well.

Next week will be another tough week with training materials preparation. Sigh.

忙しい忙しくて忙しい

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 12:36:29 GMT

GAHH!!!! Still so exhausted!!!! 2 weeks just flew by me and the only good thing about that is that pay day is 2 weeks later. Haha.

Still very much buried in a mountain-high pile of work... training materials in fact. I actually kind of like giving training... nono... maybe i should say, i actually don't dislike it. I was dead nervous when i had to do a presentation over the phone to a couple of sites in 2006, but i guess the migration stint and the need to just train various people over the last 2 years made me just BLAH GET ON WITH IT.
What i do not like is having to come up with training materials which i do not have the time for, and worse still being chased for it by some somewhat clueless but too diligent person i do not know.
I foresee more late nights, which is not easy either because it's freezing in the office and i miss having dinner at home. *sulk*

Talking about dinners, this reminds me how i went with my mom to see some showflat and GAH! the kitchen was PUUUUUNY. Sigh. it seems like an uphill task looking for a place that has a decently sized kitchen. WHY!? WHY!? i do understand how young couples don't cook that much these days but a kitchen the size of my bathroom!? HELLOOOOO?????
I totally agree with Polar-b on how he says a kitchen is the heart of a house and even family perhaps. And it's disheartening to find the heart of a house generally getting tinier and tinier and tinier and .....

I hardly have anything put down as all i pretty much did was workworkwork and work these days. Well at least i still have a job so i shouldn't complain really. I am still stubbornly hoping that there would be some sort of a increment for us this year... but i guess instead we should still count ourselves lucky if there's no pay cut? But an increment would still be a sweetener because many of us really are putting in many extra hours of work without getting paid for. Grrrr. Sigh.

I hate to end this with a sigh but.. SIGH.

くたびれた？

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 04:42:39 GMT

i am so mentally exhausted. garrrrrrrrrrgh.

maybe it's the age, most likely it's the lack of exercising (tmr! tmr!)... sleep never does much good in the rest department these days. i have been unable to wake up at 6am to go for my walk for the past 6 months, and trying to switch to night walking just didn't work out. My excuses are (1) i'm more paranoid abt bumping into weird pple at night than morning (2) i'd need to have my nightly phonecalls with polar-b and (3) i'm really tired out from work. These are EXCUSES. I will try tonight... because i'm always so tired despite the more than usual amount of sleep i am having and my stomach woes are STILL bothering me, less but still.

i worked ~12 hours for 4/5 days for the past week and while i used to be able to do this easily... i feel the difficulty in concentrating well on the next day of work now. Sadly most of the time spent working overtime was on staring in futile at the same piece of work which is not moving towards completion as fast as it should be.
While rushing to jump out of the office yesterday at daylight, i contemplated bringing work home but this has TOO proven ineffective thus i decided that i shall just rest.

i start a new regime of how i save my salary from this month onwards, pretty much because i have a different target to work towards now. it's going to take me a longer time than others because while i do save some of my money, i'm usually pretty loose with the rest of it.

We went to watch yesterday. It was good, very long, some parts a little to similar to Forrest Gump... but it was still a pretty good show on the whole. Strangely i didn't feel much about how well the characters were portrayed by the actors/resses but i was deeply emotionally affected by the various painful scenes.
One was how Caroline saw the photos of Daisy as a dancer and she painfully lamented how Daisy never showed her these photos, how she never knew about her life.
Another part was the end how Caroline never got to really say goodbye to Daisy, the very thing that she expressed her fear about at the beginning of the show.
I somehow feel a lot for the Caroline character than say Daisy (Cate Blanchett) or Benjamin (Brad Pitt).

Somewhere halfway through the movie, i started to feel that it had a tad too many extra scenes... it was not boring at all.. but it was certainly a bit exhausting to sit through 2.5 hours of details. Another gripe i have is that i felt the portrayal of Benjamin's life seemed to stop at certain age span for too long? He looked 65-75 years old for the longest time and the other was when he was in this mid 20s range. Movie effects and make-up were amazing though, especially seeing at teenage Brad Pitt. Like WOAH.

I just have to say this again... Cate Blanchett.... SOOOOO stunningly beautiful.

わし～もう３０じゃ！

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 13:31:07 GMT

So... i spent the first day being THIRTY all happy and touched, and the next two all tired and lethargic. I really should start some exercising again to shake this layer of lethargy that's sticking to me tightly.

Hmmm. It was really simple - just dinner and no presents (yet) because i still have no idea what i wanted. Then the flowers surprise came.

I was so touched, only because i've hardly ever mentioned flowers in all the talk we had... not that i remember that is. I was so moved, because he bothered to create a surprise when i smsed him to ask if he could give my mom's friend a lift out from my place (he went to hide the flowers in the boot). I like receiving flowers, and very coincidentally just maybe last week i was just thinking how flowers was never mentioned between us... not deliberately but it just never did. I didn't wonder if he was going to ever give me flowers, because there didn't seem to be a need to wish for one from him but he still surprised me with one. i was all AWWWWWW inside me and... and... i dunno. THAT was really one surprise. :)

I specifically mentioned not to give me flowers on V-day and so that the commercialization don't earn though. Hehe.

We then went to Singapore Handicrafts in Eunos to check out the sofa set that he was going to get and there was about where i got sucked into the wonderful world chinese furniture. While I was never specifically into chinese or any kind of furniture, I like looking at furniture designs and stuff. I appreciate, just allow me to use this superficial word, most designs and style unless they are gaudy or overly thrashy and so easily i was drawn into the beauty of simple chinese furniture. The great thing about these stuff in Singapore Handicrafts is that they all have a touch of (1) simplicity and (2) modern practicality. There were choices which were not too overly-intricate in the chinese designs, too heavy on the CHINESE ANTIQUE FURNITURE tones. I have my eyes on one of their little stool, a curved seat stool (http://www.studyguideswiki.com/handicraft/latest-promotion/?pid=189) costing $88 even after a 40%-ish discount... but too bad for the too narrow seat for my erm bigger butt.
It was an eye-opening experience... totally. Looking forward to making the occassional trips there in future so that we can just update ourselves in the kind of designs they have.

After leaving Eunos, we had to fight the big jam on PIE to go down to town... where we had chanko nabe because i've never had one before and neither has he. Actually i felt that SGD90 for a hotpot was a LOT to pay for. It's just going to be a one-off experience really. We can pretty much replicate this at home, and just use that SGD90 to get lots of GOOD quality ingredients and with much change to spare i'm sure.
It was an interesting experience nonetheless. Chanko-nabe is quite healthy actually, with lots of vegetables and it being essentially boiled food. There's no dip which took polar-b a bit getting used to, even for me as i'm used to dipping my meat in goma-sauce for shabu shabu. But that's how you enjoy the original taste of anything actually, with nothing on it.

Chanko Nada @ orchard plaza. It's a very very shady place.

The chanko-nabe. We got the special 黒豚塩味鍋. This too took a bit of getting used to because to most chinese who cook in the kitchen often, raw meat should not be left to boil with lukewarm water. Raw should always go into boiling water. I don't know how far this truth goes... hmmm. But the meat tasted good all the same.

The SGD90 set. Came with chicken 団子 which was quite yummy. i'm looking for recipes for these chicken minced balls.

Ironically it looks slightly less appetizing than its raw version when cooked. But it was yummy. HMMMMMM.

And we cleared everything!!!!! aMAAAAAAAAzing. This soup by then was HEAVENLY.

Then came saturday... and today... when i spent a lot of my time feeling quite tired. I blame it on my yet-to-fully-recover tummy flu from last saturday. Even Polar-b's having the same stomach woes.

But i managed to go take a shopping walk at Marina Square and got myself a light sweater from Esprit for less than $40. Yaye.
Went to Muji to look for the chocolate cake mix but ended with the brownie mix instead. I hope it's nice. Then i found something else.... Something... evil.
耳付カステララスク
I've always have had a soft spot for such cake-like stuff and this is light and crispy!!!! And not too sweet like most of such things. Awwwww.

I too got myself another bedsheet, purple, to keep so that i can use it when my dad who loves SUNNING all laundry in the HOT NOON SUN for days and days, kills all my new bedsheets in no time. Yaye.
It's very frustrating sometimes. I can do my own laundry which i do now... but i can't be home from work stopping him bringing out all the laundry. It's just so difficult trying to instill the concept of "some clothes shouldn't go under direct sunlight" in him. Sigh.

悲しい（涙）

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:27:15 GMT

I avoided posting this yesterday because i was upset enough.

I am nursing a barely recovering gastric flu and under my mom's strict orders (ie. I don't really want her to worry + listen to her somewhat nag about how i shouldn't be going out for rich food etc) I didn't attend the potluck dinner session my gal pals had last night.

What was meant to be a CNY lunch thingy was reschedule to XR's place with potluck and i offered to cook Yakisoba. Then i had to have a weird tummy problem which tortured me from saturday night to sunday evening. I decided in the end that i was to sadly give up going at all because i was feeling all tired out from work.

And strangely I've never felt this upset missing a gathering with the girls before! But then again I don't think i've missed a gathering so far since i got back from studying abroad. Hmmm.

I hope everyone enjoyed themselves. T___T I must have my revenge!!! I must cook that YAKISOBA!!!!

人生談　－　誕生日の直前

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 11:54:04 GMT

Facebook does these funny things to you.

When i was maybe less than 25, getting married at 26 - 28 was the ideal thing to do. And I wanted to have my first kid by 30. When i read about people making comments on how they never want to get married in their 20s, how they never want to have kids at a young age or at all etc... I was always left wondering why.

Now that I am 4 days shy of being 30, and i read how some people i know are getting married at 23 years old... i can't help but wonder if they know what's going on at all. Ah wait.. hang on. Before you launch a "so what you old hag know about marriage and love blah" lecture on me... i don't really mean it the way it sounded. I'm not trying to sound all wise and worldly with that i'm glad i'm still single at my age doing the things i want to do with no commitments to care about blah... FWEEDOM! blah. Nononono. In fact, i still am very much in somewhat regret that i'm not able to have my first kid before 30.
What i meant was... if... hmmm. Let's put it this way:
When i was 23, i was convinced that i have the love of my life, i have found the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. The topic of marriage did not seem dumb or idiotic nor rash. Then things changed, and it took me a hellava long time to get over that. It took me a long time to believe that hey maybe i am eligible for loving and being loved again. In tradeoff for the 'hellava looong' time it took me to painfully put things back to normal (my mental state of love and trust maybe?), i had a hellava great 5 years playing hard in Japan, working hard at work, pampering myself to bits, enjoy being financially independent, being relationship-woes free and totally love myself through.
So i'm just wondering if which side of the balance would be a better life to live? There's no answer. But it just sets me wondering.

That being said, I find myself wondering how my kid would look like or what would my kid would blabber to me at the age of two if i had a kid by now. Hmmmm.

I blame the change in the first digit of how i will write my age for the next 10 years for all these weird emotions and pondering.
I hope the next 5 years of my life, would be just as eventful as the last 5 years. Just maybe on a slightly different aspect of my life.

土曜日デート第２弾！

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 15:56:13 GMT

Weekend dating is almost an impossible due to polar-b having to work on the weekends as well... almost full day. The mornings are largely a no-no as well because:
(1) he needs his rest after grinding out all week;
(2) he has to work till late and
(3) he's just not a morning person. hehehehe. XD

HOWEVER, today we met at 10am in the morning to go to have breakfast and then to the temple because it's still the CNY period and he could afford to spare the time.

Polar-b brought me to a coffeeshop at Clementi Ave 2 for dumplings (餃子) and noodles. The dumplings were LOVELY! Reminds me of the times in Japan when i would try all the different brands of frozen or freshly made (cheaper!) gyozas and just prepare them the old-school way (panfry it with oil for a couple of minutes and add hot water, cover. simmer till dry). I would like to even attempt making our own gyozas with chinese cabbage (japanese hakusai) instead of gu-cai (japanese nira) when Ken moves into his apartment. Perhaps i can try it once first.

After a good breakfast, we headed towards East to Joo Chiat area where the temple is. Being born in the year of the goat, i am in the 'opposing forces of the Tai Sui' (sounds like star wars in english @_@) and so does polar-b's sign. A simple prayer at the temple would hopefully put us in a path which we can just live through 2009 smoothly and hopefully in peace. I just want good health and things to be smooth. Many people often pray for wealth/money/striking the lottery blah. Well, i say... it's best to know your limits, it's best to learn to be contented.
The temple was quite crowded but we were extra lucky to score a parking lot smacked right in front of the temple. I call THAT good luck really. It's my first time doing a proper prayer like that so i just followed polar-b closely like lost sheep *meh*. We had to queue up 3 times for different purposes but surprisingly the whole process barely took 20 minutes.

After the temple, we headed towards Parkway Parade to just walk around. It has been YEAAAAARS since i last went to parkway parade. My family used to go there quite often after our swimming lessons at Chinese Swimming Club actually but when we finished the formal lessons we just didn't quite bother going all the way down anymore. Another place that was packed! We had to wait to go into the carpark, wait to go up to the correct floors in the carpark, wait to find a parking space, wait to park etcetcetc.
i quite liked the outside of the shopping mall actually because it seemed to have an open concept with the cafes and restaurants. Inside is pretty much the same with the 'airwell' thingy going up all the way to the glass ceiling. Memories! I hardly rem anything else from before actually but it's always nice to revisit a place you use to frequent as a child.
Walking around got an already unwell polar-b more tired and we decided to have lunch and a hot coffee at Dome. I miss Dome's coffee! Their menu have changed a little but the food was nonetheless still pretty decent. Well toasted bread! :D

By the time we were done with lunch and out of Parkway Parade, it was about 3 plus. I dropped him off at the stall and i headed home, only to be bothered with twatty drivers on the way back. Sigh. All twatty drivers shouldn't be allowed a driving license.

I was all tired from going out when i got home so i lazed around till i figured i'd be better off baking that Muji pumpkin cakemix than nap at 5.30pm. It was pretty nice looking actually! Hahaha. Note the "looking". The texture was better than the chocolate cake i baked previously but sadly this one had a too artificial pumpkin taste. It's definitely back to chocolate for any Muji cakemixes, but i have new ideas on how to make it the way i like it to be now. :D

I got more hardworking AFTER the baking and went to get the laundry done (two piles! :D) after procrastinating on it for days. I feel so accomplished.... but dead tired and have an achy mid-back.

Sleep. zzz.

最後までできますように祈っております！

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 15:24:23 GMT

In bid to wean off from taking naps on weekend afternoons, I stoned in front of my computer today just browsing through stuff. One of which was my own journal. Sadly enough while 2008 is a good year to remember for love, my journal largely reflected my bitterness and hatred due to the dung at work.

I might have already totally failed in my attempt to ITMD! (Ignore The Mental Dung!) campaign only after 31 days into the year... i will try my very best to cut any bitterness and hatred originating from the dung to minimal on my journal.

So... i shall talk about my date today! :) .... in which i shall start on another entry because i shall not taint it due to the mention of the MD.