北京のUnwilling出張

J
So... because I have had enough of researching about Nagano and onsens and whatnot... i decided to post pics since i have not done that since FOREVER.

So... pics of my trip so far in BJ, i'm feeling bleh pretty often so i skip taking pics most of the time. But when you have a phone that takes good pics, you just have to do something i guess. So... here we go.

I took this pic from the plane and it has to be the best pic i ever took on my iphone.
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AMAZING isn't it?

Next is this really nice salad i had at a restaurant near the office. Poor lighting led to the funny colour though.
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Below is a pic i took when i grudgingly was walking to the main road, a 15 odd min walk from the office on heels. That was a terrible day where it was raining (polluted rain), getting cold and dark and i had to wait 40mins to flag a cab. Not only that, i was stuck in a traffic jam for more about 90mins. I hate Beijing's traffic. I hope the pic showed the gloominess of the place! (well i realised it doesn't really actually :/) This is the problem with Beijing i find. The grey skies just make you feel down like nothing.
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That being said... the weather had a great change today! The skies were REALLY blue and it was sunny. The same UFO port which was totally unused for years and years since it was completed. A total waste of money and materials. They apparently even had employed 2 guards just to stop people from walking through to the main road! Damn... dumb things people do.
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Part of my dinner today. Stirfry beef with peppers and LOADS of onions. It was quite yummy and a tad too oily like all other things in this city. Really cheap tho.
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*CRAWLS OUT*

J
Oh my gawd. I have not updated in 6 months! Is anyone still reading LJ or have everyone moved to FB and Twitter? Please add me on either! Search Evon Seah on FB and my username in Twitter as well! Add me add me! :)

So what has happened in the past 6 months? Nothing much actually or nothing too exciting. Mainly work, mainly getting frustrated with living at home with two un-restrained kids who are much more ignored by their parents than they should be, spending a lot more time with Polar-b and enjoying some me-time for a week in Tokyo in August, not without missing the bear though.

2010 seems to be flying by me... i feel like i can't catch up most of the time. I'm just going to start looking forward to the Tokyo trip in December... mainly to slow down and enjoy the last few days of 2010 and to watch Luna Sea!! :D We're trying to plan a short trip out of Tokyo, most likely Nagano/Niigata area so that we get some real-winter cold instead of the half-assed cold in Tokyo.

Now i'm stuck in Beijing with shitty traffic, grey skies 99% of the time and people who talk like they're pissed most of the time. Things seemed nicer back in 2007... or was everyone living behind the be-nice-cos-we-need-to-show-Beijing-welcomes-you-to-the-Olympics mask then? Oh well.
Thank goodness it's only for a week, becos i have almost ZERO access to Twitter and Facebook, both being banned/blocked in the country. I guess that's how i ended coming here... sorry my LJ. :(
In any case i'm looking fwd to going back on Friday! ^_^

今年も東京東京愛羅武勇!

J
Finally i feel an urge to update again. How long has it been? Shorter than the previous haitus i hope. OH well.

I'm officially converting to a mac! Polar-b is a veteran mac user and this makes it easier for me to convert. I've been having much more thoughts about getting a personal-use laptop recently because using work laptop isn't working out anymore. I hated looking at work related files while getting into a series of dilemmas of whether i should be logging on to the office network so that i can clear some work. I end up not logging on because i am simply too tired or lazy, but I go back to work on monday feeling like i never took my mind off work. BLEH. So as the sentiments get stronger, i started to think how good if i could start consolidating all my photos and tweaking my itunes in a brand new macbook! So my macbook is going to arrive on Wednesday and i'm really looking fwd to it. :D
I decided to re-rip all my cds instead of copying them over from my pc... something which i strangely cannot explain why i don't want to do it (convert from the pc that is). I need to hunt for covers for most of the songs i have in my itunes as well. zzzz.

After coming back from Hokkaido again in February, I couldn't stop thinking about the niceness of the whole trip and of course the shortness of it. BLEH. Hokkaido in winter isn't my first, and actually my first trip to Hokkaido WAS in winter. However sitting on a coach dozing off the moment our bum hits the seats and driving around braving the snow is pretty much on two different ends of the scale. The only road conditions we get around here is good or very good, dry or wet. The only gripe i have about our roads in Singapore is probably that we have too many humps to speak of. Driving around in the snow, is a totally different song to sing to. We look up in the sky for road directions since the roads are all covered in snow. We gauged a lot where the stop line is until we realised that most junctions have a sign erected by the side of the traffic light where the stop line should be. There many more surprises, only because it was a totally new experience to us. But the most 'harrowing' if i may almost exaggerate, was the car skidding on ice when we weren't even making turns. THAT, was a totally new experience and i am so glad we managed to add that to our experience. At least i can now say that i have the confidence of knowing what to do when my car skids on ice!

I'm going to watch J in August yaye! Alone this time round, but Polar-b and I should be going again in Dec to enjoy the cold and finally spend some proper quality time romancing Tokyo instead of just HI!BYE!-ing tokyo like what we did the last 2 times. We had only 2 nights in the recent trip, and though we had almost 5 nights the previous time, we had watched J for 2 nights too so we didn't do very much at all!

I hope to go back to Abiko and maybe even Araki for a visit in December. I want to show Polar-b where i had lived during my studying days in Japan plus i want to take a look at how things have (or not) changed since i moved out 5 years ago.

Nora came over 2 weekends ago and wow! It was waaaaay overdue! We hadn't met since 2007 Dec and didn't keep in touch as much as we liked due to our busy schedules but while many things have changed, many things hadn't too and i guess that was a totally nice thing to know and was a fabulous meet up. i look forward to our next, visits are much easier now that we have a place to host her in and lovely polar-b is always so warm and hospitable to my friends. I don't want to sound overly-googoo-gaagaa but I think i must be really lucky in this aspect. Not only he is always happy to have my friends over, he is always happy to get to know them and cook for them! :D

Work, as usual i have no want to talk too enthusiastically about. We have a colleague who turned into a haunting piece of irritance. We seem to have a lot of these over the years. Sigh. So the whole bunch of us victims often discuss and bitch about how we hate having lunch with said colleague and i feel like i'm in some high-school clique thingy all over again. We all know it's pretty silly thinking of means and ways on how we can minimise our interaction with said colleague blahblahblah, i strongly believe we are doing this only to destress from the trauma of having to go through all that shit. Ha.

May I just mention what i probably would look forward the most this year for work? Peace of mind. And the moolah of course, if any. BLEH.

AUGUST! DECEMBER! COME TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE!

ちょっと行方不明

J
Wow. Has this been the longest period of time my blog has gone totally un-updated?

Work has been work, mostly tiring and at some point extremely depressing. I did think alot of leaving, wishing i didn't have to deal with certain people no matter how infrequent it has become. Maybe I shall make some resolution that says: Find a new job in 2010.

More major issues include my dad having a compression vetebrae some time mid dec, causing lots of problems and pain mainly for himself and including the rest of the family. He had gone to try to move some big dog kennel we had and that resulted in a compression fracture in his L3. He shouldn't be moving such things in the first place, and at least not without help. He didn't say much about the pain, and went to do something as silly as going to a chinese sinseh instead of an x-ray. So that could have made it worse and that was the start of the whole series of visits to the specialist, follow ups, a minor surgery, more followups and more followups at the TCM (allowed by the specialist this time). My dad tries to convince everyone that he can drive out for meals and buy cigarettes, while grimacing in pain to stand from sitting too long or getting leg cramps from lying down for long hours. Tell us if we're wrong to object. Sigh.

On a good note, polar-b and I are going to hokkaido again in feb! :D Not an uber long trip, but enough since timing is always an issue we both struggle with a lot when it comes to trips. We're going on the 2nd day of Chinese New Year, and will be re-visiting some of the places we went previously in summer to have a look at the difference between the two seasons.

I've been thinking alot of my family recently and how one of the pushing factors to me embarking on that overseas study trip many years back is coming back to haunt me. Why do I always feel like i'm being made a premature mother of some sort? But unlike before, I have learnt to 'harden' my heart and ignore the guilt that still occasionally floats up. But well, it still doesn't make the fact that the is how the trend of parents behaving these days totally suck.

Oh well. So 2010! I have not much expectations of the year, but just hope that it'd be better than the last. And i hope for less health issues, especially with my stomach.

ビール・・・

J
What a week it has been. Long, messy, tiring but at least it got better towards the end except that now my tummy still feels funny from the Sapporo Classic Beer i downed quickly last night. It tasted so good that I finished the whole can in less than 10 mouthfuls.

I thought after seeing many irritating classmates from a couple of years back, i would be immuned to morons who talk like they know all their shit etc but argh no. Everytime i go for class, i feel like throwing two bricks at one particular guy, one at the nose-bridge AND the other at his shin. oh well.

We finally placed the order for a table from MUJI yesterday! I still find most of the staff working in MUJI largely clueless idiots, polite yes, but still idiots. Sigh. Like I always tell Polar-b recently... if i ever work in the local MUJI management, i will FIRE all the damn staff i'm sorry. But that aside, YAYE! The table!!! :D:D:D:D It's coming on the 2nd week of November, so hopefully there'd be no probs with the delivery and *cough* assembly. On top of that i'm excited to spend the points that we've accumulated! Mufufu.

以上・・・

・・・・

J
疲れたって言えないほど、疲れた。やっぱ言った・・・まだ少しだけ力が残ってるのかな? あたしいったい何かを求めてる?何か欲しいの?正直、多分求めてない、欲しくもない。

状況を理解してたのに眼を開けて飛び込んじゃって、正しかったのか?大丈夫のかな?信じたい・・・本当に信じたい。信じていいのかな?今年って何回の疲れたって言ったのかい、イボン?仕事のせいで、家族のせいで、彼のせいで、自分の問題もあるでしょう・・

落ち着いて考えましょう。でも焦ってないね、実は。

どうしよう・・・

ひとまず、罪悪感を消しましょう。

疲れた

J
Next time? I will just shut up.

精神の改革

J
As I try to keep my eyes open to catch the qualifying round of the F1 race, i've been thinking how tiring and lousy things have been in general recently.

Work woes is nothing new in my life but it's only recently i find things just so tiring to deal with and came 5cm close to scream my head off at someone around me at one point. But i'm quite glad that happened, the part about coming close to the "breakdown" that is, because it made me kind of let things go and finally start to take on the belief of "work is just work".
I guess at the end of the day, the whole problem had fed on the evilness of putting too much of how i feel into work. I dunno about the others, but i couldn't really make myself go "heck it, it's none of my business". I hear this a LOT from people at work around me and honestly a little blob of disgust would arise in me before i push it down with a "everyone's just different". I think it sucks many people think that way, but that's how one would have to be to survive the working world i guess. A lot of these "selfish skills" i would like to term it, come naturally to most people but i guess i just need to hone these right from scratch. I'm no saint btw, i'm not saying that. I'm just saying i really don't have that kind of inborn skill to be this selfish sometimes.
I just hope i don't find myself one selfish bastard 5 years down the road. :( But that's what working and growing up do to you... does it not?
So that's work improvement.... i guess. My whole stand towards how I deal with work... is to be changed, will be changed. Not that slick in this new skill yet, but i shall have to be.

I ranted big time recently about weekend parents on Facebook and got back quite some comments, mostly were agreements, some mini objections because of the very 'sweeping' statement i made (them being weekend parents etc).
I know I wouldn't have much of a choice in future, but i think i will fall into this very category of weekend parents because life isn't that sweet and easy.
I suppose what really bugs me is how comfortably some weekend parents fall into this category. It is not supposed to be! You are supposed to be feeling somewhat sad that you're not able to spend more time with your growing child. You're supposed to make use of every other remaining time, as much as possible, to watch them grow up, to let them irritated you, to fuss over them, to scold them, teach them, laugh with them. I don't see why do you want to have kids in the first place when you are more concerned about catching up with your romance novels, or washing and polishing your car, in the big name of stress-relief when others are teaching and educating your kids for you. It's not right... and i hate that. I really do.

I wish for myself to never become like that. I would like to fret and get frustrated over my children's disobedience, mischieviousness. I would love to find some helplessness on how all the anger and irritance would momentarily disappear the moment they try to flash me their little cute devil grins and puppy eyes. I would love to be the idiotic parent who sometimes can't help but give in to little pleas of "please mummy please!!!!". I would like to smack daddy in the head when he gives in to little pleas of "dadddyyyy... please lar!!!". I!!! ME!!! I want to experience this. I don't want some maid or my/his mom to experience this alone themselves.

Given how we're trying to pump in more money into our bank accounts as fast as it disappears quickly because we just cannot be bothered to be frugal the old-generation-style anymore, this is probably too much to hope for. But i just wish... i really do from the bottom of my heart, that i will -never-, -ever-, fall comfortably into the weekend parent category.
Weekend parents in my words, are parents who take their kids home from friday night, spend the weekend with them, and drop them off at the grandparent's place again on sunday night.

Life can't be always all bad. Yesterday Polar-b and I celebrated our first one year together. We went on a date, something which doesn't happen as often for us like other couples because I am busy with work on weekdays, and he on weekends. Most of the time we hang out at the igloo, cooking and enjoying each other's company.
So we had planned to watch Bears at the Omnimax Theatres, only to be amusingly dissuaded by the staff because there were only a couple of seats left after some 100-over kids (kindergarten level) were brought by their school to enjoy the same show for Children's day (Oct 1). We decided that as much as we don't dislike kids, trying to enjoy romance with 100 over kids is kind of an overkill so we said we would be back after Children's day.
We knew that we made the right choice when, as we were walking back to the car, we saw a cute little boy go berserk screaming "OHHH LOOOK!!!! DINOSAUR!!!!" as he jumped off the schoolbus, to be greeted by Mr T-Rex at the entrance.
We went to catch Inglourious Basterds instead and it was totally enjoyable! It was witty, funny and interesting... although i did STILL roll my eyes at the exaggerated bloodsplatter Tarantino-style. Hahaha.
We went to Ootoya for lunch, not without getting lost in Orchard Central itself first, and having to ask how do we get back to the lift that serves the carpark. Ooooootoya, how i love you so. ♥♥
We decided to walk abit at Ion, because i wanted to go to take a look at the new upmarket supermarket Three-Sixty and it was pretty interesting! I wished it was less crowded though.
We were supposed to go to Margarita's for dinner but we postponed this to another day because Polar-b was feeling uncomfy after lunch. Instead we tried out the new tze-char stall at the nearby kopitiam, eating crabs to go with wine but the crabs didn't impress, neither did the wine for Polar-b. I found the wine alright so i took a couple more glasses and realised how lousy I have become in drinking. Or it could just be what Polar-b said... we just react differently to different drinks. I conked out soon after, forgetting momentarily about work woes, my unhappiness with many things around me.
Polar-b, it has been a challenging but great one year, we will have many more. You're the best. :)

負担・・・

J
I am like 3 weeks late in updating this. I was full of excitement and post-holiday happiness after my 12 day long vacation and wanted to post pics and talk all about lovely hokkaido, lovely tokyo, polar-b's first trip to JP, J shows, and how i grabbed hold of the tank top that J threw offstage, went through one song with another girl holding on to it till i figured enjoying the show's a better thing to do and let go. Shoot me, but i honestly didn't think too much abt it. Hehehe.

Anyway, I can't stop thinking about how great the whole trip is, though i get more and more laden with unhappiness/frustrations from work as each day creeps by. Sucks.

At least I have polar-b to lean on, at least i have little things to look forward to. I just want some mental peace, be it from work, things around me or home.

I WISH I GET TO GO HOKKAIDO IN JAN/FEB next year again!!!!!

やっと・・・

J
Work has been crazily stressful to a point that I was not working efficient no more. i sometimes wish it's not this difficult to take 2 weeks off from work, but reality isn't this sweet. Nonetheless, i'm going to ignore work, almost, for a good 11 days from Monday!

JAPAN! It has been 9 months! I'm sure even my passport missed being smacked with those entry stickers of yours! :D

I'm thinking of getting something from Agnes B this time but i shall see where my money goes to first before i get to the store.
And J! Hope you don't CANCEL your birthday this year. Thanks. *rolls eyes*